THE HARDHAT Parent – Purity Has Benefits

Parenting teaches children skills and habits that help them excel. The Bible encourages purity as one of those habits that makes life work properly. There is logic to this idea whether you believe the Bible or not.

Discussion usually invites passionate appeals to help you understand that people have freedom. Of course I do believe you are free to make your own choices, but it is also to our benefit to understand that any exercise of freedom brings consequences.

If we exercise freedom without restraint in all things we understand we would have chaos. For example, if everyone drove without consideration of the Rules of the Road, the streets would be a dangerous place.

Based on years of counseling, observing life and making some mistakes, I offer this as food for thought. If life is lived without concern for boundaries of purity there are some risks.

Waiting for sex is protective of the heart.

Sex establishes sincere bonds between partners. The breakup of a relationship where a deep connection has existed is emotionally devastating. Often destructive behavior accompanies a broken heart. Hollywood makes funny movies about the aftermath of heartbreak, but the person who is hurt is not living a comedy.

Waiting for sex is protective of future options

Negative results of a sexual relationship can far exceed the obvious issues like unplanned pregnancy, the harsh judgment of others or the delayed pursuit of education. Comparison may occur if your first lover was highly skilled and well equipped; and your eventual spouse is disappointing. Decisions may be made like abortion or adoption that a person does not have the maturity to make or may not have the fortitude to live with. I have seen decades long marriages end, because some lingering issue could no longer be repressed by a partner.

Waiting for sex keeps judgment clear in conflict

Sexual tension is good in a dating relationship. In fact most tension is good in dating relationships. Tension and conflict give you the opportunity to have a clear view of the person you are dating. Sex makes it easier to ignore those things you should recognize in a potential life partner because you “feel so connected.” Marriage however is built on the personal and intellectual relationship between two people. It is dramatically affected by behaviors that are almost always visible in dating. The sex is valuable within a marriage for the same reason.

Having sex helps you ignore your critical spirit.

The same thing that makes sex a risk in dating, makes it valuable in marriage. The desire to be intimate with your partner makes you consider whether or not your offenses are valuable enough to you to leave them unresolved. Many people resolve marital conflict solely because the desire for sex is strong. It can motivate us toward the forgiveness necessary to make the relationship endure.

Your testimony is powerful to the young.

We almost universally agree that broken homes are tough on everyone. We see that being a single parent is difficult. We have seen people be destructive to themselves, others, and society because of love. If some stand up and say, I have chosen a path where personal purity is a concern, many people could be helped. The young are more interested in what you did with your opportunity than what you believe about how they should deal with their opportunity.

God welcomes all people regardless of their history. Over time Church teaches principles of common sense; and in context, we teach the Scripture. Oh! Wait! We did not get to Scripture…

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