“The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard,” the weekend’s No. 1 movie, was a colossal waste of my time. In the interest of not wasting too much of your time with my complaining, I’ve decided to chop down that review and offer two alternatives that are much more deserving of your time, though they will never get a weekend to call their own. With that in mind, I’ll get the big dud out of the way first.
“The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard”
This movie is a poor excuse to have Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Salma Hayek cursing at each other for 99 minutes. That might sound like fun given the talent involved, but trust me, it gets old fast.
Reynolds is especially grating as a wannabe bodyguard who’s not particularly good at anything. In 2017’s “The Hitma